Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize