We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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