We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize