1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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