Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
