Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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