This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
