You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need moral support for this bender
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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