He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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