I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
