found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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