So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
