Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize