Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
