seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
