where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
