Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
