sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
