Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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