if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
