Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
