i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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