is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Who died my cat blue again?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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