I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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