idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
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He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pants are for mortals
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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