my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
