Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
