why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
