In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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