I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
