its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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