No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
