barbara walters just said penis...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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