Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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