Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
