it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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