just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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