I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
