it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You need a sexual gate keeper
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
