I seem to have left my pride at pride
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
