kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
