I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
