So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize