he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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