He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
