No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize