A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
