I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If I had your ass I would rule the world
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
