I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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