question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
