I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
