He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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