Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
