Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
