Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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