So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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