babies were throwing up all over the place
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Still dying that you shit outside
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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