You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
