i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Fuck appropriateness.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
