She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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