Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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