hotel room ftw
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
