I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
